Unpopular Opinion: 11 Crochet Patterns I’ll Never MAKE

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Looking for some controversial crochet opinions? Check out the latest blog post where I share 11 crochet patterns that I’ll never make, along with my reasons why. Whether you agree or disagree, this post is sure to spark some interesting conversations among crochet enthusiasts.

Crocheting is a wonderful hobby that allows us to create beautiful and unique items with just a hook and some yarn. However, with so many patterns and projects available, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and have a list of projects that you may never actually get around to making. In this blog post, we’ll take a look at 11 crochet patterns I’ll never crochet, but are still worth admiring.

11 Crochet Patterns I’ll NEVER Make

I hope we can still be friends after I share my list of the 11 crochet patterns I’ll never make. I promise I have my reasons and will share them as we go through the list.

We are going to start with the most obvious projects and at the end I’ll bare my soul and share my UNPOPULAR decision NOT to make one of THE most popular crochet projects.

Crochet Bikini

While I admire those who have the confidence to rock a crochet bikini, it’s just not for me. I prefer to keep my swimwear a little less…hole-y.

While a crochet bikini may seem like a fun and trendy project, it can be challenging to achieve the perfect fit and support without using other materials like elastic or lining.

I think it’s pretty obvious why I wouldn’t want to make a crochet bikini, but I’ll go through my reasons in case you need them.

  • 1. Ain’t nobody want to see me in a bikini. That’s a fact. I’ve given birth to four children and my stomach is not something that needs to see the light of day.
  • 2. Most of the crocheted bikinis I’ve seen are in the boho style. While I think that looks very nice, it’s definitely not the way I personally dress.
  • 3. I’m a woman of a certain age and I need WAY more support than a crocheted bikini could ever give me. I need a bathing suit that sucks some things in and pushes other things up.

While you will never catch ME dead wearing a crocheted bikini, I do think they are really pretty and in general they are fairly simple to make (and they don’t take up too much yarn for obvious reasons).

But if you are into that sort of thing check out this post from Love Life Yarn:


Crochet Cat Sweater

As much as I love my fur babies Pickle and Olive, I don’t think they would appreciate being forced into a crochet sweater and I’m fairly certain they would express their displeasure.

Plus, I enjoy keeping my eyes. That is all.

Patterns from Catventurous Crochet

Just Sleeves – Shrug Patterns

A new trend I’ve been seeing lately is for Just Sleeves/Shrug patterns.

The best way to describe them is that they are a sweater with sleeves and shoulders, but it has no part of the body.

And while I think these are really interesting they are definitely on my list of 12 crochet patterns I’ll never make.

I understand that they are a fashion statement more than they are a piece of practical clothing. And while I love wearing cute outfits, I like mine to be just as functional as they are fashionable.

Doing a quick Google search of “Just Sleeves Crochet Patterns” you will find Youtube tutorials as well as links for patterns.

Photos from Pinterest

Mandala Wall Hanging

Mandala wall hangings are beautiful and can be a great way to add color and texture to your home decor. However, they require a lot of time and patience to create the intricate details and designs.

In addition this is another one of those projects that just don’t fit my personal style. I admire the craftsmanship that goes into a mandala, but it’s not something I will be crocheting.

Photos from Pinterest

Bucket Hat

I’m old enough to remember when the bucket hat was the NEW fashion back in the 1970s. As a child I even had my very own bucket hat.

But this is another one of those crochet patterns that doesn’t fit my personal style.

I can appreciate that this is a cute accessory and looks great on lots of different people. And one of the best things about a crocheted bucket hat is that they are so simple to make! They are a great stash buster project.

Check Out My Favorite Stash Busting Crochet Projects Here

Photos from Pinterest

Crocheted Shorts

Does this really need an explanation?

Crocheted shorts are adorable on small children and I’ve made them several times for amigurumi toys.

First of all, I can’t imagine that crocheted shorts would be very comfortable. Crochet creates a beautiful textured fabric, but not one I would want to wear on my lower half, especially during warm, humid weather.

Just no. Not gonna happen.

Secondly unless they were lined, I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them in the light of day.

Photos from Pinterest

Crocheted Pouf

A crocheted pouf is a trendy and functional piece of furniture. However, it can be challenging to get the right amount of stuffing and structure to hold the shape.

I love the look of the crocheted pouf, but it’s a big project.

Red Heart Yarns has published a free pattern called the Red Heart Stylish Pouf and it uses a whopping 18 skeins of super bulky weight #6 yarn.

Check Out Super Bulky Weight Yarns Here

Not only will that project take quite a bit of time, it takes up a lot of space and the yarn alone would cost a pretty penny.

You’ll also need to either stuff the pouf or purchase an insert or a bean bag chair.

This would be a fun project for a child’s bedroom or playroom so they could sit while reading a book. But I can’t see this being something that would be useful in my life right now.

Crocheted Socks

Crocheted socks are beautiful. There are so many amazing patterns out there that rival the look of knitted socks.

So you may be wondering why crocheted socks are on my list of crochet patterns I’ll never make.

The main reason is that crocheted socks typically aren’t going to be a stretchy as knitted socks.

And I’m really picky about how my socks feel on my feet. They need to fit well, not too tight or too loose.

They can’t bunch under my feet, at the heel or the toe. They need to breath, be not too hot or not warm enough.

Basically I’m very picky about my socks and worry that the natural texture of a crocheted sock would bother my feet.

Photos from Pinterest

Reusable Grocery Bags

I love the idea of crocheting reusable grocery bags, but in reality this is not something I will ever make.

I’m a big fan of reusable grocery bags and use them regularly, but here are the reasons why this is a project on my list:

  • Most of my groceries are quite heavy and most crocheted reusable grocery bags have too much stretch in them
  • I’ve seen reusable bags made from non-stretchy materials but those types of materials are typically too hard on my joints, which suffer from inflammation.
  • I avoid going to the grocery store as much as I can so my trips tend to be quite large which means I need big bags that will hold a lot of groceries.

I really do love this idea and if I made smaller purchases at the grocery store, I could see this being a really valuable thing to make.

Photos from Pinterest

Bed Sized Blankets

I’m all for crocheted blankets and have made many of them. But I’ve never made a bed sized blanket and I don’t plan on doing it.

One reason is that I don’t have the attention span. A bed sized blanket takes so much time to crochet, you need have the mental fortitude to persevere in that endeavor.

But my biggest problem is that I’m also one of those people that has a really hard time using anything I make. Most of the projects I’ve crocheted sit stored away as display objects only.

I worry that they will get ruined by the humans in my home using them.

I know. I know.

These crocheted items were made to be used…I’m a work in progress.

Photos from Pinterest

Temperature Blanket

Some of you are gasping in horror right now.

But hear me out.

I will never crochet a temperature blanket and here are the reasons why:

  • Temperature blankets are a commitment. You need to either be really good at keeping up with your blanket on a weekly basis or you need to keep good records.
  • You also need to be one of those people who don’t feel overwhelmed when you have a huge project that ideally gets finished in a specific time frame.

I absolutely adore temperature blankets, especially the ones from my favorite crochet designer, Toni from TL Yarn Crafts. She has so many gorgeous temperature blanket designs and I’ve been tempted more than once to start one of my own.

But truth be told, I’m not sure I would ever finish one. And for that reason it sits in my list of crocheted patterns I’ll never make.

More Crochet Patterns I’ll Never Make

Although my list of crochet patterns I’ll never make is authentic, there are two more types of projects that need to be on the list.

Crochet Patterns I Don’t Love

Life is short and crochet is my hobby. We all have things that we have to do in our lives that we don’t like doing.

We have to grocery shop, clean bathrooms, wash clothes, and cook meals. But when it comes to my time to crochet, I don’t want to waste any of that on projects that I don’t love.

In the past I’ve forced myself to crochet patterns that I didn’t love for one reason or another. Most of the time, it’s because I want to make something for someone I love.

I’ve found that when making something I don’t love it ends up being worse than a chore, it becomes a total drudgery.

Now I only choose projects I love, even when they are for someone else.

Crochet Projects for People Who Don’t Appreciate Handmade Items

Have you ever spent hours crocheting something for someone only to discover that they didn’t appreciate handmade items?

That is THE worst.

I no longer make things for people who can’t appreciate them. It’s not their fault and nothing I can say or do will change their minds.

I’ve found it’s better to give them a store bought gift and everyone feels better. They like their gift and I’m not resentful of their lack of appreciation.

Crochet Patterns I’ll NEVER Make

While these 11 crochet patterns may not be for me, that doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoyable for others. Crochet is a personal and creative hobby, and everyone has their own preferences and styles. So, whether you’re into crocheting bikini tops or temperature blankets, embrace your creativity and have fun with your projects!

Crochet Patterns I’ll Never Make Pin

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